It’s Not About Me
28 Jun 2011 22 Comments
in faith, God, Life, Marriage, Parenting, trust, Women Tags: faith, grace. forgiveness, identity, restoration, self-worth, trust
I’ve never thought of myself as a self-centered person. Being in full-time ministry for 23 years, it’s always been about the people that God has sent into my life, whether it was to teach, minister to, pray for, disciple, or just listen. So a few weeks ago, when my pastor said to me, “Heidi, it’s not about you”, it shook me a bit.
Here’s the context of his statement: Over the past several years, I’ve known that I’ve needed to write more….whether it be through a blog, or through a book (or books)….it’s been a strong leading of my heart, knowing that it was really God Himself directing me.
Just like I thought that I wasn’t a self-centered person, I’ve also never seen myself as an overly analytical person either. I’m usually not too “heady” about things….until lately. I would think things like, “Everybody on the planet is writing a blog. Why another one?” or “There are a million Christian books out there. Why another one?”
These are the questions that I brought to my pastor. (Along with my husband, and many others, my pastor had also been encouraging me to begin writing.) As I voiced these concerns to him, he very matter-of-factly stated: “Heidi, it’s not about you. It’s not about whether there are a million blogs or a million books. It’s about you being obedient to God. God has given you an assignment. You have a message that the world needs to hear. The gift you have will help others. It’s not about you.”
So with that fresh perspective, I must be obedient.
Here’s my message: He’s healed my broken heart. He’s restored an identity and self-worth about myself that I’ve searched all my life for. He’s given me eyes to see what I do have and what He’s blessed me with, instead of eyes that only see the wrong that’s been done.
He’s protected my heart from bitterness. He’s given me the ability to forgive others….truly forgive from my heart, not just with my words. He’s given me the honor and priviledge to communicate to others. He’s given me the message that He can restore and redeem ANY heart, ANY life, ANY mess….including mine.
Now let me ask YOU the question: What is YOUR message? What is it that God has done for you, that YOUR world needs to hear about? Remember, it’s not about you…it’s about your assignment from God to bring hope and healing to a lost world.
So with that being said, I will be blogging and I will be writing. And I will be keeping you up-to-date with what God is doing because “it’s not about me”.
(I would love to hear your thoughts about what I’ve shared. Leave me a comment and let me know. We’re all in this together!!)
“She’s ready”
24 Aug 2010 9 Comments
in Culture, God, Life, Marriage, Parenting, trust, Women Tags: faith, God, life, Parenting, trust, Women
After several months of not blogging…here’s the reason why: Our oldest daughter graduated high school and is now moved to college!! That’s a BIG deal for a mama!! I’m sure you won’t be surprised to see that this new blog is a “reflection” from this past season of my life.
Our oldest daughter is quiet in nature but strong in fortitude. As we made plans for graduation, parties, college prep, move-in, etc. this past year, she didn’t have a lot to say. One day, she would seem so excited, then the next, I could tell she was a bit nervous and anxious about this new season of her life. Throughout this past year, my heart and mind was flooded with emotion: “Is she ready to live on her own? Have I taught her everything she needs to know? Have we prepared her for the unexpected?” The list of questions was endless. As I voiced this to my husband, his answer to every single one of my questions/concerns was “She’s ready”. Period. No explanation as to why she was “ready”, just “she’s ready”, then he’d move on to another topic of conversation. I, however, wanted a detailed explantation as to why he was so confident that our daughter was “ready”. Much to my dismay, I never got an explanation…just repeatedly, “she’s ready”.
Over the summer, we celebrated my husband’s birthday and as is our family tradition on birthdays, we went to a nice restuarant to eat. Once we’ve finished our meal, we each take our turn expressing what that particular family member has done over the past year that has blessed us. As we did this for my husband, when it came our oldest daughter’s turn to speak, she said “Dad, all year long I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to go away to college, but you always told me one thing: ‘You’re ready’, and after hearing that all year long, I’ve decided that I really am ready for this new season.” WOW!! The power of two simple words from a father!! Two words that dispelled fear and doubt, nervousness, anxiousness and insecurities. “You’re ready”. Period. No explanation to my daughter either, just “you’re ready”.
We moved our daughter to college last week and guess what? She really was READY!! I’ve never seen her so full of excitement, courage, strength and anticipation of the days ahead. Why? Because her father continually told her she was “ready”.
I find myself facing some pretty big challenges in this next year of my life. There are some BIG things that my Heavenly Father has asked me to do. Just like my daughter, I’m not really sure if I have what it takes to do what God has purposed for me in this season. Tons of questions are rolling around in my mind, but amid those questions and doubts, I hear the voice of my Heavenly Father saying, “Heidi, you’re ready!” No explanation as to how I’m going to do these things, no time-schedule for me to keep, no end result explained to me….just simply “You’re ready”.
I now realize that my daughter set a pretty good example for me this past year: JUST BELIEVE WHAT YOUR FATHER SAYS. Period. Without an explanation, just believe!! And just as I’ve seen her blossom and grow into her purpose, I trust that I will do the same as I embrace all that God has purposed for me this year.
So now, I ask you the question: What is it that God is asking of you? What are you finding hard to embrace full of faith? Don’t think you’re ready or has what it takes? Hear the words of YOUR Heavenly Father: “You’re ready”. Period.
Don’t You Care??!!
05 Apr 2010 2 Comments
in Culture, God, Life, Marriage, Parenting, Women Tags: devotion, multi-tasking, priority
God created women with a beautiful gift: MULTI-TASKING. We can perform many “tasks” at one time; we clean house, do laundry, cook dinner, assist with homework all while we are paying bills, carrying on a serious phone conversation AND checking our email. And not once lose track of what we’re doing!! 
We are proud to be the super-heroes of our home!! We beam with pride when our family members take note of our super-human abilities!!
While the gift of multi-tasking may be a great blessing, it can also be a curse to our lives as well. There’s one area of my life that multi-tasking just won’t work: MY CHRISTIAN LIFE. I cannot multi-task through my daily spiritual disciplines. Jesus demands my FULL attention and will not share my devotion to Him with any “task” that’s on my list. He will not share my worship and love for Him with anything, or anyone.
In Luke 10, we find a woman who was queen of multi-tasking…or so she thought!! Martha was known for her gracious hospitality to Jesus and took great pride in doing so. Jesus and His disciples had “dropped by” for a visit during their travels, and Martha found herself with a houseful of men to feed and care for. In the busyness of her “tasks”, she became overwhelmed by the lack of help from her younger sister and stormed into the room where Jesus was speaking. “Lord, don’t you care” that no one is helping me and I’m left to myself to DO IT ALL??!! is essentially what Martha was saying. “Don’t you care??!!”
While most of us would never speak those words out loud to Jesus, most of us have said those very words in our hearts. “Lord, don’t you care?” Don’t you care that I do everything around my house?? Don’t you care that I work the nursery more than my fair share? Don’t you care that I’m the only one who stays behind after work to make sure that everything is done? Don’t you care??!! Not only do we speak those words in our hearts to God, we’ve all said those words too many times to those people closest to us…DON’T YOU CARE??!!
Martha made two major mistakes in her outburst. First,she put her needs above the needs of others. She placed her need for help in the kitchen above her sister’s need to sit with Jesus, and even above Jesus’ need for worship and adoration at that moment. Every time we place our needs above the needs of others, we become prideful. We begin to carry the attitude that we do everything, and no one else does anything. And our prideful hearts look very ugly on us, just as it did on Martha.
Second, Martha mistakenly saw what she was doing for Jesus as more important than what JESUS WAS TRYING TO DO FOR HER!! Jesus desired to sit and take time with the two sisters, to visit personally with them, to share His heart with them. Only Mary “chose what was better” and made herself available to Him. Martha missed an opportunity, did not make herself available, and basically embarrassed herself terribly in front of the One who desired to spend time with her. No multi-tasking at that moment!! Martha couldn’t perform her “tasks” AND sit at Jesus’ feet. She had to choose one over the other, and regrettably, she chose the wrong one!!
While we may be able to multi-task in our daily lives, we cannot multi-task in our spiritual lives! Jesus will not tolerate a “divided heart” towards Him. He cannot be just “one more thing” on our to-do list. He demands 100% of our attention, our affections, our devotion and love. Will I be available when Jesus needs to talk and converse with me? Or will I be too busy with my “tasks”, that I see His visits as an imposition in my life instead of an honor and privilege?
The answer to Martha’s outburst of “don’t you care??” is absolutely YES, Jesus does care!! In fact, He cares enough to rebuke us when we choose the “task” over spending time with Him. He cared enough to die for us, to take our sins to the Cross, so we wouldn’t have to carry them ourselves, to love us enough to rebuke us when we need it…..YES, HE DOES CARE!! He cares more than we’ll ever know!!
Missing Out
16 Feb 2010 1 Comment
in Culture, God, Life, Marriage, Parenting, Women Tags: grace. forgiveness
I hate it when I feel like I’ve missed out on something. Whether it be the “sale of the century” at the mall, or a missed call from that special someone, or a get-together with family or friends….if I miss “it”, I am left with the feeling of missing out on something great. While all the things I just mentioned are not life-or-death scenarios, I hate knowing something great happened and I wasn’t there to experience it. But there is something worse than missing out on the greatest sale of the century…that is missing out on the grace of God.
There is a scripture in Hebrews that speaks of “missing out” on the grace of God and then goes on to tell us HOW we can miss out. “See to it that no one MISSES the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Heb. 12:15) A root of bitterness in our hearts will keep us from receiving the grace of God!! I don’t know about you but I NEED THE GRACE OF GOD on a daily basis!! The love, the forgiveness, the mercy, the outpouring of God’s GRACE is a vital part of my Christian walk and I certainly don’t want to jeopardize those things because I’ve allowed bitterness to creep into my heart.
Bitterness is difficult to detect in our hearts; in fact, most bitter people don’t even know they are bitter! By refusing to deal with the negative emotions of anger, unforgiveness, resentment, etc., a seed of bitterness is planted into our hearts and before we know it, that seed has grown into a “root of bitterness” and has “caused MUCH trouble” in our lives and have hurt many people.
There was a woman in the Bible named Naomi who, because of her bitterness, changed her name. She was so bitter that her new name meant “bitter”. Bitterness will do that….cause us to change our names. Maybe not our literal names, but change who we really are. Bitterness can make a once happy person, depressed… a once caring person, hard-hearted and self-centered. In fact, bitterness can even turn us into a person that we (or those closest to us) don’t even recognize.
How do we rid ourselves of a “root of bitterness” that has grown in our hearts? WE RECOGNIZE AND ADMIT THAT IT’S THERE. That’s half the battle….just recognize it. Once we truthfully come to the place that bitterness has found a place in our lives, we must remove the “root of bitterness” out of our hearts and place it into the hands of God. God is more than willing and able to remove it. We admit that it’s there and give it to God. We release forgiveness to the people who have hurt us or wronged us, gratefully admitting that God has done the same for us.
I hate missing out….and I would certainly HATE to miss out on the greatest blessing of all: GOD’S GRACE. There is no person, event, hurt, wound, or misfortune that is worth my missing out on the grace of God!! The more I rid my heart of bitterness, the more God pours out His grace on me. Pretty AMAZING…isn’t it??
The Labor Pains of Parenting
27 Jan 2010 2 Comments
in God, Life, Parenting, Women Tags: children, pain, Parenting, promise
I don’t know about you, but the memory of attending Lamaze classes aren’t some of my fondest. I remember being as big as a cow and waddling into class with my husband, scared to death!! It seems like all the other parents were so happy and excited about the birth of their soon-to-be child. But me?? SCARED TO DEATH!! So many questions racing through my mind: “How much pain will I REALLY be in? How badly will this birth hurt? Will I be a good mom? Will I know what to do once the baby is born? Can I change my mind and give the baby back if things get too hard?? “ These were all legitimate questions of a first time mother.
I am now the mother of not one child, but three!! (It really is a miracle that I had more than one!!) Not only that, but a mother of THREE teenagers!! And that first-born child? She’ll be graduating high school in a few months and leaving for college. Even though the memories of those Lamaze classes, and even the births of my children are sometimes vague in my mind, there is one thing I remember clearly: IT WAS PAINFUL!!
I came across this Bible verse the other day, and for some reason, the memory of birthing children was as fresh in my mind as if it were just yesterday. “My dear children, for whom I am AGAIN in the pains of childbirth, until CHRIST IS FORMED IN YOU.” (Gal. 4:19)
A revelation hit me as soon as I read those words: PARENTING IS PAINFUL!! Even though my children are teenagers now and soon to be out of my home, it doesn’t mean that there is still not pain involved in raising them. Just as we go through the stages of labor when birthing a newborn child, there continues to be the “stages of labor” that we feel as we attempt to raise those babies into upright, Godly adults. There are levels of INTENSE pain in labor, followed by the stage of rest in-between the contractions, then more pain, then rest, then pain and then the most excrutiating pain before the baby is born.
So it is with parenting. We also walk through each stage, but the difference is that our children are no longer babies that are totally dependent upon us…they are teenagers or young adults, trying to exert their independence. As parents, we no longer have total control over them…we must daily give them back to the One who first gave them to us…they’re not really ours to begin with, they are HIS.
God’s Word makes it very clear that we will experience that same intense pain as we pray, instruct, teach, and train our children UNTIL CHRIST IS FORMED IN THEM!!
Once the baby is born, you forget about all the pain because you see the beautiful results of your labor. Likewise, once our children grow up allowing ”Christ to be formed in them”, we too will forget about the pain we walked through in order to get them to their God-given purpose and destiny. Right now, I’m feeling some pretty intense labor pains but I know that “rest” will come before more painful contractions. But the prize that I continue to keep my eyes focused on is the promise that “CHRIST WILL BE FORMED IN THEM”.
I’m not sure what shape I’ll be in when this promise is fullfilled, but one thing I am confident of: I WILL live to see that day!! And just like those early years of Lamaze class, when I was scared to death…these days of raising older children can also scare me. Just as I survived the birth of all my babies, so will I survive the years of raising them in the “fear and admonition of the Lord”.
Take heart parents….those labor pains are necessary for a beautiful, healthy child AND teenager or young adult. Be thankful for moments of “rest” and “peace”, but also be prepared for the most intense labor pains you’ve ever known because in the end, CHRIST WILL BE FORMED IN THEM!! And in the meantime, God has a beautiful way of “forming” His Son in us parents, too!!
